Gaia Community: Living Love Fellowship's Blog

Love's a Game You Play to Lose

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 03:08:42 GMT

a talk by David Truman 5/06/2005

Spiritually, most of you have gone just about as far as you can with the amount of surrender you've had to this point. You really need to be less self-centered. If you try to go any farther holding onto your present level of resistance, you're going to hit the wall and hurt your head. And you know that, too.

Heaven is for the pure. You have to give it up. You have to be straight up. The fogs and smoke screens you've used, habitually, to protect yourself -- those are incompatible with your present goals.

And love? Love is a game you play to lose with all you've got. You don't play it to win. You don't play it to look good. You play it to lose your heart, to lose your place, to lose your pride, lose your center, lose your mind -- everything. That's how the love game is played. It's not like any other game.

When you love, you sure don't play it to protect yourself. You play to make sure the other person wins with every hand. That's the difference between love and everything else.

I know what your real goal is; I know what you want: You want to give yourself. You want to be truly confessed. You want to lose face. You want to let go of every shred of decorum, politics, pride, and dignity, so as to be a lover for real.

But for that, you have to philosophically regroup. You have to realign your objectives. And you have to get up a little earlier in the morning to see the things you're putting in your own way or holding onto. You have to see where you're fighting yourself -- in those places where some of your objectives are opposed to others. Otherwise you'll continue in a battle with yourself, which is terrible and inefficient. You're stuck with intention/counter-intention. Without a doubt, a real lover doesn't have that battle going on.

Don't kid yourself

Don't kid yourself, and try to proceed with conflicting objectives. It's no use. All it does is create unnecessary problems. If you want what you really want, figure out how to align yourself behind a single purpose. About those intentions you're clinging to that are opposed to higher spiritual-emotional goals: you have to get rid of 'em. That's the only way to go. Anything less is to stay stuck.

What you want to achieve is a complete integration of self toward a single purpose: to lose. To lose face. That's the Way of Truth. God's Way.

God's Way is for the broken hearted. It isn't for the winners. God's collecting all the losers. Everyone else is fighting for survival. Trying to save face. Trying to cut a corner. You see. If you look at it very carefully you will see that I am telling you the absolute truth.

The "winners" and would-be winners are completely lost. They want to look good. They want to come out on top. They fight to survive, and for wealth, to be rich. They live for self, and when it comes to morality, they cut corners. That is exactly the course most people are following, religiously. They are doing what ego has in mind. Trying to win in that way. What's up with that? Down is up with that. Ego's agenda is in direct opposition to the Way of Truth, the Way of Undoing, the Way of Love. Absolute opposition. The followers of ego's little way will do hard time, and die imprisoned in smallness.

God collects the losers. Blessed are the poor in spirit -- [those who aren't living for ego] -- for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Well, that should be it. That's all you really need to know in life. If it has anything to do with love and truth. Anything worthwhile.

God's Way is the Way in which weakness makes you strong. It is the Way in which only service and emotional interdependence are dignified. It is the Way in which the last should be first. In God's Way, nothing but love and surrender make sense.

God's Way is the Way in which the last shall be first, he who loses himself shall find himself, and he who dies to himself is born again in the Spirit.

(these are metaphors; meant to be understood in spirit, not literally)

Only by humbling yourself can you be exalted.

Only by being the lowliest servant can you be great.

Only by losing your mind can you possibly have peace of mind.

Nothing but love makes sense.

Virtually every ordinary goal of human existence, if you pursue it vigorously, will ruin you.

Nothing but love makes sense.

The first are always last.

Nothing but love makes sense.

The love you take is equal to the love you make.

Nothing but love makes sense.

Heartbreak makes you whole.

Nothing but love makes sense.

The moment of losing face is the most dignified moment in a human life.

Nothing but love makes sense.

Self-denial produces spiritual wealth.

Only love makes sense.

The only way to win is to lose.

Nothing but love makes sense.

You look at your hand. Play your worst card.

Nothing but love makes sense.

Look at your feet. Put your worst foot forward.

Nothing but love makes sense.

The only way to be Godly is to be a slave.

Nothing but love makes sense.

Humility dignifies. Tears strengthen.

Nothing but love makes sense.

God's Way is that in which you could never possibly remember yourself except insofar as you forget yourself.

Nothing but love makes sense.

Spiritual maturity is in keeping with: unless you be as little children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Nothing but love makes sense.

And of course, you mustn't make anything grandiose out of this, because if you do that, you've lost the Way entirely. Instead, you must find infinite little ways to apply it. The left hand should not know what the right hand does. Almost never has spiritual life had anything to do with obvious heroism. Heroism is for earthly winners; the Kingdom of Heaven is for earthly losers.

And don't let the ego get a piece of even the littlest action, because it will dig its heels in where nobody thinks it matters. Ego takes over the kingdom because nobody expected it to come in that door, you see. So be smart. Stay awake. Be well-advised that spiritual peril or spiritual victory lies in attending to the smallest detail.

Confucius says, "The wise man, if given the opportunity to take one step forward, takes two steps backward." So:

Give yourself to anything your ego hates, and be undone.

The only happy ending is the ending of your ego and pride. There is no other happy ending. "It's a good day to die!" as the American Indian warrior, Crazy Horse, used to say.

That's it. I've said it. Truer words were never spoken. I wasn't willing to bullshit anybody this time.

You've got to celebrate your undoing. You've got to be very, very happy with your surrender. Absolutely, 100% sure about it. No ifs, ands, or buts. That's the ticket. Okay, that's impossible, but that's the challenge: to embrace that absolutely.

If someone says, "You're a liar and a cheat," tell them, "That's true, and that's not all."

If it looks like you might fall, ask, "Can you kindly move that mattress out of the way?"

If it looks like almost everything's going wrong, ask, "What's left?"

Now those are good questions. Infinitely better than the kind of questions people generally ask.

An enlightenable mind says,

"I could win on this move -- what's the alternative?"

"I could live through this -- give me another choice."

"I could look good here -- is there anything I can do about that?"

"I can keep it together -- can that be fixed?"

Such a mind shows consistent appreciation of the value of losing, an unerring homing instinct. True appreciation. The crest jewel of existence. To lose!

You can appreciate the real value of these statements the moment you understand that ego-driven life is only for a complete death-bound fool.

Tags: love, spirit, surrender, heaven, lose face

USE YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS TO CHANGE THE WORLD

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 03:46:13 GMT

As you well know, the world is in deep shit. Indeed, it IS shitty. We ought to CHANGE the world.

Fortunately, human nature is good -- WE are good. And we KNOW what is good. Our consciousness can help immensely. Powerfully.

Any person knows plenty about what is wrong in this world, and what would be right. If you sit down with someone for an hour and ask them to tell you what is wrong with this world, and what would improve it, they could tell you many true things.

Friend, we need YOUR consciousness. If you just bring your AWARENESS of right and wrong to life, THAT will make a huge difference. Here's an exercise, a meditation, that will help the world with your CONSCIOUSNESS:

SIT DOWN, WRITE DOWN WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD -- AND HOW SHOULD IT BE DIFFERENT. SPECIFICALLY:

- WHAT NEEDS TO BE DIFFERENT IN YOUR OFFICE?

- WHAT NEEDS TO BE DIFFERENT IN YOUR HOME?

- WHAT NEEDS TO BE DIFFERENT AMONG YOUR FRIENDS?

- WHAT NEEDS TO BE DIFFERENT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?

- WHAT NEEDS TO BE DIFFERENT IN THE WORLD?

- WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MAKE IT DIFFERENT?

WRITE IT DOWN, ALL OF THAT.

Excellent, brothers and sisters! It will change the world: your consciousness, your awareness, your honesty. That is exactly what the world needs now.

Thanks for your powerful help,

The Folks at the Living Love Fellowship

Tags: change the world, human nature, make a difference, awareness, power, consciousness

Claim Your Freedom

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Sun, 18 May 2008 17:49:14 GMT

Every man and every woman wants to be free. Every man and every woman knows that they are infinite. We each have a soul full of passion and love and truth, which is usually unexpressed. What we are is infinite! But we have imprisoned ourselves with egoic patterns and false ideas. Ideas of who we are. Ideas of what life can be. Most people go from day to day unsatisfied with the life they are living, the person they are being.

People, if you are willing, you CAN break free of that! Recognize yourself as a child of God, and discard the limitations that you have accepted for yourself. Break free! And do not allow the chains of false ideas about who you are to hold you down anymore. Do not accept the misery of being limited, of being small, of being unexpressed, of being stuck in negative and disappointing patterns. You are a child of God. And that means you do not have to accept that. CLAIM that freedom, as a child of God, and LIVE!

This blog is from a talk given by David Truman -- a teacher of the Living Love Fellowship -- speaking about the freedom of the children of God, of EVERY human being, and know that this applies to YOU.

You can read the transcript below, or better yet, hear the audio version available on the Soul Progress website.

Transcript:

David: I'm just trying to work through the human condition, and show the way out of the maze. You know, people go around and around. We need help finding the exit.

You step towards the front: one, two. And again back: one, two. And again forward: one, two, step, step. But what you need to understand about this dance is you are like a rat in a maze, and there is a fire in the building. It is not just step, step, step forward, step back. You need to make progress toward the exit, to live! Step, step, step, step. Step left, step, step. Step right, step, step, exit out of the burning building, into the sky. Freedom!

We think, "Oh, these patterns are wonderful; patterns make human life what it is." True enough, but human life is miserable.

And so, step, step, step, step, forward and back. It's different to be involved in the cha-cha-cha than it is to be involved in running for your life. You see? Step forward, step back. You need to BREAK that pattern, and GO down further into the maze. Take a DIFFERENT route one time.

Everything is habit: "Oh yes, this and this and this, and then I go back to here. Oh yeah, that feels good, very kinesthetic. Back and forth, back and forth." This is all very self-stimulating. This is all very head bashing. All fine, all good. But the thing is, they're in an iron lung; and dying by inches, because they don't have any true exercise. True exercise is when you stride OUT, okay?

So, it's all very wonderful. "I've done what I've always done. I've done it the way I've done it." We're all very comfortable, very felicitous, very joyous, very celebratory. The fact that I am a complete idiot who goes through life: "I always catch the 9:03 train, and on the way back I take the 5:03." You see: all very wonderful, very secure, very safe, very DEAD.

But death is not actually the salvation of man. Life is. Life is to be ever new. Life is to actually escape the patterns. Life is not to repeat them.

So therefore: Step, step, step, step. Ah! That's the same! Okay, step, step, step, step, turn right. Step, step, step, step, run like mighty. And run forever, and run like there's no tomorrow. And run to freedom, run to God, run to the truth.

Run as if your life depended on it. Because it does. See? So do it AS IF what is true was true. It is. So therefore do it, every time you see that pattern, every time you recognize yourself to be in chains.

I saw this myself, in the institutions of the mental hospital. When the men would come with a straightjacket, to tie them down, why, they would object, and they would fight like hell. Why is it? The human being, apparently even the human being that is most deranged, resists imprisonment. Resists mightily. And they would struggle fantastically, and it would take four men to contain them, to put on the chains. This was how strong: one man had the power of four when it came time to resist imprisonment.

Now, WHY would one not see that, every time you have a pattern of behavior, YOU are being approached by the men with the white coat; YOU are being approached by the imprisoning force; YOU are being approached to be confined. This is the same thing, you see? You should recognize it as the same.

There is no satisfaction in bondage, for a human being. But there is satisfaction in freedom. There's satisfaction in liberation. And you know that to be true, because every time you ever decided and you ever made up your mind to do different, well then, in that case, you were happy.

And I'll tell you why. It's simple and you know it to be true. It's because freedom is you, "Freedom R Us." And there's Toys R Us, and there's Freedom R Us. Freedom R the nature of God. Freedom R the nature of you, as God's child. Freedom!

(singing) "Oh freedom... Ohh freedom. There's no kneeling in that land. There's no kneeling in that land. There's no kneeling in that land, where I'm bound. There's no kneeling in that land. There's no kneeling in that land. Go home to my Lord, and be free."

That is the anthem of your heart and soul.

Acquire freedom by resisting patterns. Acquire freedom by resisting confinement. Acquire freedom by resisting the tendency to say, "I can't do this, and I can only do that." Acquire freedom by rebelling against such a statement. Acquire freedom by not having any of it. It's not of your kind. That is what grates against you. Think about it, Grasshoppers. It's not of your kind. You are of God, you see? God is free.

You have to understand yourself by looking at your responses. I went to Mexico and I would say to people there randomly in these little villages that I went to, "Do you speak English?" Now, depending on how they respond, I could draw certain conclusions. When they would answer entirely in Spanish, then I would think, "Probably not. This must be a true-blooded Mexican, untainted."

All right. Now in this same way, when bondage grates against you, then you know by that, you are of God. When it does not sit well with you, you know by that, you are a child of God.

You can tell who anyone is by the way they respond to things. This is the way you tell. See? Know thyself. If you like all this confinement, if you like all this self-limitation, wonderful. Then indeed, you can know by that, you are a child of Satan. Satan is for limitation. Satan is for confinement. Satan is for restriction. But then again, on the other side, if you DON'T like those things, if you DON'T like the restriction, if you DON'T like the limitation, this tells volumes about who you are. This is revelatory. This is definitive. YOU are a child of God, if you don't like THESE things. You see?

That's how you identify children of God, how you separate them from the stones. All the stones are indifferent to the fact of their confinement, their immobility. You do not share this attitude, though. YOU, yourself, not only beg to differ from the stones. In fact, you DO. You differ. You differ in fact; you differ in reality. You inevitably differ; you inexorably differ; you cannot NOT differ. You are, in fact, different than a stone, in that immobility, confinement, restriction -- these things bother you. See?

So you go into a room of mixed entities -- thirteen thousand four hundred thirty-six humans, fifteen thousand seventy-six stones -- and your job is to sort these into the categories properly. So you say, "How many of you would be happy with confinement, stuckness? Everyone who would be happy with it, say nothing." And all the humans scream, "NO!" By this, then, we have separated the stones from the people.

Very important. You MUST, as a child of God, understand the fact that you are not actually a stone; that you do not accept the destiny of a stone. Which is to be stuck. To be moveless, immobile. To have no legs. To be unable to walk, to run, to fly.

Think! You see, if you can think, then again you are not a stone. Think: "I would be free. I deplore my own confinement. I would go home to my Lord. I would be free."

So say, have you heard?

All: Yes, we have heard.

David: Very well, then.

Oh! May all be free!

I love you all. Thank you very much. Unbelievable beauty, that you can hear. Unbelievable. I love you ALL. Great, tremendous, that you can hear. You must be children of God. You have ears. You can hear.

Good job! Now go tell your friends. Go on. Right now. Go tell your friends. Tell them the truth. Do that for me, okay? Tell them the truth.

We love you.

Tags: Freedom, Love, Life, Will Power, Choice, Child of God

Our Offer to The World

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:43:10 GMT

The Soul Progress web site is full of truthful writings that we offer to the entire world for free, for each reader to use as he or she sees fit. On the surface it seems as if a person could read what is there, agree with it, decide to live it, and then go do it in the privacy of their own home, by themselves.

The truth is, virtually no person could succeed that way. The way of Truth is so different from the ways of the world, so incompatible with the ways of the ego, that it would be extremely rare for a solitary individual to truly and lastingly convert to it, without wise guidance and loving support.

Therefore, to any person who is not content with superficial understanding, with nominal agreement, with consoling inspiration, with limited commitment, and who sincerely aspires to truly learn and live these truths, we make this offer: We will personally guide your spiritual growth to the extent you are prepared to grow. This is not an offer of material assistance, for we do not have the means nor the mandate to extend that. But we will give you the benefit of our understanding, experience, and loving attention, as long and as far as you are willing to go on this path. This offer is limited only by the extent of your openness, your interest, and your discipline.

If you are ready and willing, we look forward to hearing from you.

Tags: Spiritual guidance, Love, support, spiritually committed

Getting Unstuck

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:17:50 GMT

The following conversation addresses feelings many of us share: the yearning for higher things, and the frustration of not being able to reach the spiritual heights we crave. The conversation contains practical advice about how to change the habits of behavior and patterns of thought that hold us down.

Q: These days, I look at my life, and I'm so FAR from where I want to be. I see my shortcomings, and I also see how the whole world seems to be far from what I want.

David Truman: The world as we know it is ego's paradise -- or hell. It is certainly hell for the soul to behold what ego creates, and to intuit, at least, what it prevents. You are right to be pained, in that respect, because yes, ego IS garbage -- and all its ideas stink, wherever they are found. You have begun, obviously, to appreciate that.

Better late than never to realize that garbage is garbage. Never a moment too soon! When you've got your hands up to your elbows in garbage, your soul's reaction is "Yech!" That's great, but the question is, what will you do now? Will you pull your hands out of the mess, or just sit there repeating, "Yech, yech, Yech"?

When we speak of taking your hands out of the garbage, we're not talking about running away from this world. Ego-garbage exists within as well as without. It's the stuff within we ought to fix. So don't worry about everyone ELSE. Worry first and foremost about yourself. Physician, heal thyself!

How long does it take, once people figure out that their ego-garbage is yucky, to let go of it? You COULD just spend the rest of your life going, "Yech, yech, yech!" but wouldn't it be better to fix the problem?

Often in life, is not ABILITY that counts, but AGILITY. Agility, in this case, means changing direction. A person's thinking should be flexible. When they reach an impasse, they've got to be willing to change course.

The appropriate response to inner garbage is simply to throw it out. But it is like a stray dog that is bonded to you by force of habit. So, for a while, you have to KEEP ON throwing it out, over and over.

Q: How true that is! I read beautiful things and I get all inspired; I want to change the way I think, the way I respond, and all of that. I make all these resolves before I go to sleep. But then the next day happens, and before I know it, I'm right back in my old patterns.

David: Obviously, you strongly intuit GREAT potentials in yourself and in your world. You want beautiful things, and you want to give beauty to the world. But that mountain of inner garbage is obstructing your view and polluting your action. So, if you're NOT busy shoveling down the garbage, you'll continue to yearn for things you can't reach BECAUSE of the pile. Therefore, the first order of business is definitely garbage collection and disposal.

So for now, you should not think so much about "what I want" or "the beauty I am missing out on." Instead, think to yourself, "What use is cosmic beauty potential to a person in mud up to their neck?" Then start shoveling away that mental/emotional garbage! Wisely and efficiently, throw away every limiting idea you think and believe -- about anything. Do that with a strong will, and soon you'll be able see over the top of the pile. THEN you will see, much more accurately, the possibilities out there. And, based on that seeing, you can figure out what's next. But the pile MUST come down below eye level before you can see clearly!

Q: Get OUT of the mud THEN worry about what's possible.

David: Right! As it is, your present self-image is a scary costume, and that creates no end of trouble for you. It's like this: You put on a werewolf outfit, and come out to entertain your two-year-old girl. She screams and runs away. Seeing her terror, you go to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror. You too, are terrified by the mask, and run away screaming. The moral of the story is this: It's important to get that terrible outfit OFF. How can you get close to anyone when have that horrible mask on -- that horrible false self-image which you and they believe? You can walk around in that mask as long as you want, but all it will do is worsen the trauma for everyone around you. So take it off, and get down to your real face! And, the ONLY way to get down to your real face is to get rid of that false face. That false face IS the beliefs of the ego.

Here's the challenge: When you are heavily invested in your mask, it's very difficult to get it off. You must first UNbuy your buy-in. You must release your belief in it.

As long as the mask stays on, trauma continues. And that trauma is a constant annoyance; it holds you down. That's why you have to get rid of it. Let me give you another example to show the need to lighten the negative load.

Here's a well-meaning gangster. Maybe he's a swell guy at heart -- maybe even a Bodhisattva. But he's up to his neck in shady gangland activities. He owns a whole bunch of racketeering businesses, dubious massage parlors, numbers, the whole bit. And then, on top of it all, being a good Catholic, he wants to be a priest.

Now let's say you are the friend of this would-be priest. And looking at the whole picture, you want to give him some advice as to how to make his transition into priesthood. You say, "Luigi, I know you want to be a priest. And I also know you think you can do it all: stay in the family business AND become a priest. But there are some problems there. Business, it's a constant headache. If you try to keep running all these rackets, you've got knuckleheads and goons to order around, you've got dangerous rivals -- the whole mess. You may even have to ice some guys now and then, just to keep things on the level. It's annoying. Sure, God forgives everything, but too much business on your mind will definitely disturb your meditation. So my advice is, you might want to lighten your load before you go to the seminary. Sell the numbers, sell the massage parlors, and make a nice contribution to the church. Capiche?"

Q: Wow!

David: Now let me tell you how that crazy story relates to your situation. You're weighed down by old egoic patterns that you've invested in for years. And now they keep coming up and causing grief, no matter how much you resolve to live beyond them. You realize it's all garbage, of course, so you make bright resolves almost daily. But when the garbage still keeps on coming up, you're doubly dismayed. You see that you've spent most of your life acting on the basis of ego-mind AND, despite your resolves to get out of it, you find yourself stuck in a huge, messy pile of the ego's junk.

Q: Yeah! Everyday, when I get involved in my work, my interactions, and everything, the higher things that I want to keep in mind, the ego things I resolved to watch for and change the night before -- it's all forgotten. I can't seem to keep on track very long. It causes a sort of impatience in me which is "C'mon, don't you care enough about this stuff to even remember it?"

David: I'd say you care quite a bit, but caring by itself is not enough. Since that ego stuff is still all automatic in you, you need a different vantage point. At the present, you are still like a lighter-than-air balloon tied down to its moorings with ropes. The ropes are limiting beliefs. Your job is to cut those ropes. Once you cut the ropes that hold you down, your own nature will make you buoyant. You will rise in the skies as soon as you jettison that ballast. And from way up in the sky, you will directly see the things that otherwise you can at best memorize, remember, and pine for.

So you see, success in spiritual life is not so much about needing to REMEMBER things, it's about SEEING things. What is obvious to your spirit will always be obvious to it. But is the spiritual position your present vantage point? So long as your balloon is tightly moored to the ground by the negative thoughts, lower self-identification, and limiting beliefs, spiritual work remains a treadmill. Memorization, affirmation, and behavior control ad nauseum. That doesn't work! It CAN'T work. You need to come from a higher place. Vantage point is practically EVERYTHING.

I'm sure you recognize the crucial importance of vantage point in all your friends. When they're low, they only see certain things, primarily negative things. Higher things -- salvatory things -- they can't really understand at such times. You may tell them what they need to know, but they keep on forgetting it. Over and over, they ask you, "What's my motivation in this scene? Why should I be doing this again?" They can't seem to hold the charge.

But you notice, too, everything changes when they are higher. Then they see the truth readily, and remember it well.

Q: So it's all about vantage point.

David: Yes. Lower vantage point doesn't support higher thought -- much less higher knowing.

In my own case, I complain that sometimes, after receiving some amazing revelations while sleeping, I come back to earth from heaven and I can't seem to get the truth through the door. That frustrates me so. In the same way, your soul would LOVE to be able to remember what it knows, but it can't get past the pile of garbage that's holding you down.

So for now, your soul needs to be on cutting those ropes, shoveling away the ego garbage. To regain your native vantage point requires that you accomplish these things. That's why the first step is to expel that negative mind. You must steer clear of concern, doubt, negative beliefs. Get rid of the negative self-belief. Throw away the ego-mask you have on so your native being can express itself. You must religiously direct your mind properly. You must renounce these things that bring you down. That IS your soul's work for now.

If you are like most people, at first you resist the vigilance required for liberation on this level. Consciously or otherwise, you resist the discipline of un-buying the belief structure that presently chains you to the ground. But you find out, the hard way, that as long as you believe that stuff, your soul is not allowed its normal buoyancy. Negative thoughts are counteracting your natural soul tendency to ascend. They are preventing it from expressing its native tendencies to love sincerely, to have cosmic perspective. They preclude all the things are absolutely native to your soul. Sat-chit-ananda, as they say in Hinduism -- existence, knowledge, bliss -- that's the nature of the Self, YOUR Self. But for those attributes to be evident, a person has to take off the mask, shovel the garbage, and cut the ropes. All those analogies point to the same thing. You see?

It's like the case of your old Uncle Louie. Louie is -- or was -- highly functional. He used to manage a great corporation. But that was twenty years ago -- before he started his slide into alcoholism. Now poor old Louie's on skid row. His brain is swimming in alcohol. His body has been chemically reduced to utter density. He's rendered his being opaque to the transmissions of Truth. He has lost touch with his functionality, his own native genius, because of that toxicity, that bad habit.

Q: He needs to quit drinking!

David: Absolutely! He will never come back to his senses much less get back into a responsible job until and unless he can cold-turkey on the booze. Really not.

Similarly, that's what ego and bondage in illusion are all about. You mire down in the mud and then, from that vantage point, your soul can't express itself. This ponderous load of negative thought and limiting belief has been imposed upon your soul, rendering it a virtual captive of its own patterns. And your soul feels SO frustrated about that fact that it can't. It is simply not really in the right position to do its rightful business. The resulting pain is like the frustration of people who have Parkinson's disease. They can't DO. They can think clearly, sometimes, but they can't do anything about much. They can see you, but they can't talk to you. When they try to make their mouth move, or their arm move, it doesn't work. They feel -- and are -- imprisoned in their disability.

Q: You just perfectly described the frustration I feel. It's JUST like that.

David: I know, and I sympathize with your champagne taste. I understand you want so much more from life, and so much more from yourself. That great hunger is native to your soul. You feel an enormous frustration about the fact that you can't experience the things that are native to you. You think, "This place is not my place. This is not my world. What am I doing here? This is not the way it is. This is not the way things work." And then you think, "I am not being myself. This is not me!" Such is the frustration of a child of God who is trying to function here, but is hobbled by negative mind.

So, for the time being, don't worry too much about what you are; just worry about getting rid of what you are not. What you ARE will take care of itself -- it's inherent. And, feeling sorry for yourself is no help at all. You just have to UNDO what you've done. You have to take full responsibility. Realize that you have ensnared yourself by virtue of your own choices as to how to construe everything. Realize that your choice up till now has been to go with the junk and stick with it. That's your choice to bind yourself.

What good are misgivings about giving in the mind of a would-be giver? What good are misgivings about love in the mind of one who wishes only to love? If, having seen the ugliness of it, you STILL want to hang onto your junk, you belong to the earth. As long as you are chaining yourself to that tree, you belong to that tree. But if you wish to be free, take to the Way of Undoing.

The Way of Undoing has two parts: Let go and let flow. Let go pertains to the jettisoning of this load of ego stuff. Let go of that, and then let flow. You can't really flow when you are encumbered with so much junk. That's why there's a certain sequence to liberation: Let go, THEN let flow. There's some overlap, to be sure -- but basically, you must jettison your ballast to be free.

Without a doubt, getting rid of the ballast takes work -- and vigilance. Of course you want freedom, but HOW BAD do you want it? What are you willing to do to earn it? If your love for freedom is still insufficient to give you enough motivation to cut the ties that bind you, you remain stuck. If you are still unwilling to let go of the "not It," by what means do you qualify for the "It?"

You need -- and we all need -- a coherent WILL. The one who misses "It" is the one -- the only one -- who can and should throw away what is "not It." To pine for the "It" while remaining unwilling to separate from the "not It" is an incoherence in your thought system. It is insufficiently integrated.

So many people are stuck in this position: champagne taste, beer budget. What they want is sublime, and they're always pining for it. But what hobbles them is the fact that they really tie themselves down so thoroughly to things that are antithetical to what their souls WANT and NEED. So you see, their problem isn't that they have no value on beauty -- their problem is that they have an excessive valuation on what is ugly. In that case, they cling to the ugly EVEN THOUGH it torpedoes their dreams for the beauty. It makes no sense. It is not coherent.

It's incoherent to think you can cling to the mud and be in the clouds at the same time. Don't kid yourself. Don't think you can have the It and the not It both at once. A consistent mind would never countenance such profound self-conflict. So make up your mind. Stay clear and consistent. Decide what you want to be, and BE it.

Coherence rules! For "No man can serve two masters." "You either gather with me or you scatter asunder." Listen to this example: A woman goes to a job interview, and sits in the waiting room repeating her usual affirmation: "I am unemployable, I am unemployable, I am unemployable." Then when she does the interview, it doesn't work as well as she had hoped. And -- remarkably enough -- she doesn't know WHY. But the answer is obvious: She invested considerable mind power AGAINST her stated purpose of getting the job! She is not thinking in such a manner as to support her stated goal. Any sane mind would try as hard as necessary to avoid that problem.

Q: And that's definitely what I'm doing when I'm telling myself, "I don't deserve to be in that beautiful situation," or "I'm not the spiritual type so I should distance myself from all that stuff." Or "I'll let cooler people do that -- I'm too stuck to succeed at it." Or, "I'm needed to do this practical stuff to keep everything happening so I shouldn't take time out to talk to God now and then." Whatever those thoughts are.

David: The president of Sony was a coherent man, a man of integrity. Though he earned a large salary, he lived modestly. When asked about that, he said, "Many people are wealthy, or wealth-like, but I am not -- I am ordinary. I live in a modest house. I only heat one room at a time. I drive a simple car. I stay in inexpensive hotels. I am rich, but not wealthy." Think about it: he was consistent. He realized that the SPENDING of riches does not conduce to BEING rich. He knew that making money and wasting money are opposing ideas. On the basis of that coherence, he will definitely be rich, and stay rich.

The legend of the Greek philosopher Diogenese -- walking around with a lantern, looking for an honest man -- is a great tale. Diogenese wanted to find someone who was honest with themselves. Self-honesty is the ONLY cause of coherent thought. ONLY true coherence -- integrity of living -- provides relief from the whole frustrating dilemma we've been talking about.

All spiritual success is measured by a consistent philosophy, earnestly lived. All the elements of your life, from up to down, from left to right, should work together, should make sense as a whole.

When a person FULLY recognizes that garbage is garbage, they are no longer attracted to it. When a person TRULY recognizes beauty as beauty, they are completed attracted to it, and are happy to pay for the Pearl of Great Price.

Q: That's wonderful, I get it.

David: Great! So now, walk the walk. Untie yourself from evil, and bond yourself to Good. That's the answer. Effectively let go of what's wrong. Religiously cling to a proper self-identification; cleave to what is Good and True.

Positive coherence supports the soul; negative coherence supports the ego. AND, incoherence -- inner division -- ALSO supports the ego. It makes perfect sense. If you really look at it, it's kind of "Duh! Why didn't I think of that?" You just have to really look at it. Then do the work to free yourself.

Q: It takes time to change, doesn't it?

David: Probably so. You may need some time to make these adjustments. But the good news is, IF you reject the bad consistently, and hold tightly enough to the good, you WILL regain your elevation, you WILL realize who you ARE.

So be it.

Tags: stuck, change, intergrity in living, self-image, beliefs, choices

Over and Over, I Love You

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 19:44:30 GMT

We put together a little collage of clips from our indie-film-in-production, "1000 I LOVE YOUs," and set them to music. The result was so wonderful, such a powerful communication of love, and such beautiful evidence how very endearing every human being is, that we wanted to share it with you here.

Enjoy, and pass the link along everyone you love!

For more information about our indie film, "1000 I LOVE YOUs," click here.

Tags: love, humanity, endearing, cute, video, music, uplifting, 1000 I Love You's, indie film, Living Love Fellowship

Stop the Personal Power Madness

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:28:30 GMT

Help! In the good name of empowerment, they've had us fighting like two year olds for power and space. Many personal power techniques are ducky in theory, but yucky in practice. Let's escape the madness, and seek higher ground.

Since a lot of people feel a need for more strength and toughness, many therapeutic offerings teach personal power skills: how to speak up; how to assert will; and how to set limits. These can be good skills, valuable achievements. However, no matter what technique is employed, playing with personal power is playing with fire. Constructively used and carefully controlled, fire can provide warmth, cook food, clear out dead wood. But at the same time, if fire is carelessly handled, people get burned. So, along with learning to increase our power, we need to learn to use it positively and control it carefully. Many therapists and support groups don't teach that.

As a result of this omission, we see power struggles all around: in rocky love affairs, in sorrowful relationships, and in places of work. Using modern power techniques, millions of well-intentioned people have developed habits of thought and behavior that threaten the harmony and stability of human relationships. In truth, these struggles represent power abuse on a massive scale. Maybe growth teachers run out of time before they can impart the necessary cautions, but all power techniques require deep understanding, artful use, and fine tuning to be truly beneficial.

Personal power use and abuse

We can point the way to higher ground by correcting a few power myths:

1. There is no such thing as powerlessness.
The notion of powerlessness has been over-sold and over-believed. Everyone has plenty of power. Sure, other people affect us, but we affect them too. And we certainly affect ourselves mightily.

One of the most awesome demonstrations of a man's power lies in his ability to convince himself that he is powerless. Do not struggle to gain power when you are denying the power you already HAVE. Instead, admit that you are powerful.

2. ALL humans have the potential to abuse power.
We tend to associate power abuse with LARGE SCALE POWER USERS: people who have authority and control over others, people who have political power, etc. But actually, ANYONE can misuse power. Your little angel can return from the personal power course as a little Hitler. It's called COMPENSATING.

3. Negative assertion does not insure a better life.
Rushing to increase personal power is rarely healthy or beneficial. Blind with excitement, people sadly misuse the first little bit of "conscious power" they get a hold of! Fresh graduates of "assertiveness training" courses often destroy their intimacies and alienate their friends right away. Maybe those relationships were doomed anyway, but maybe not.

In the growth movement, assertion is associated with self-protection more than with love. Consequently, people tend to overplay negative forms of assertion. In making honest statements that are negative or self-protective in intent, people often throw their relationships and their emotions out of balance. Clearly, the utility of negative assertion is limited where the heart is concerned. We can protect the quality of life by watching the quality of assertion.

Granted, in any kind of learning, people have to make mistakes to learn their lessons, and personal power is no exception to the rule. But it is only intelligent to try to control the cost of our mistakes. Personal power may sound glorious, but let us admit that it is easily misused, and can be destructive. THEN we can steer a safe course.

Before you sign up for any "power-enhancing" processes

1. Don't let growth professionals sell you THEIR goals; only choose processes that further YOUR (true) goals.
For example, most people want love in their lives. If you want love in your life, see if a growth "skill" really supports relationship harmony (in practice, not just in theory).

2. Don't just ask what a process IS, see where it LEADS.
Examine the ability of that particular process to move you in a desirable direction. Ask: "Many people have used your method or acquired your skill. Has it helped their relationships, or hurt them?" Then look at the proponents of the process: Would you MARRY someone like that?

3. Don't learn any social "skill" superficially.
A skill becomes useful only when you can do it well. Learn how to increase personal power without lowering social sensibilities -- or damaging "companionability." Hardest to safely apply are techniques of self-protection, accountability, authenticity, and the like. If someone says they will teach you how to assert yourself in two hours, just chuckle inside and walk away.

Drink from the fountain of real strength
Assertiveness and power are indeed qualities of truly strong and secure people. But ACTING strong is easier than BEING strong. Also, people who are desperate for power misuse it the most. In the rush to power, virtues quickly become vices.

No amount of willful behavior, limit-setting, or negative assertion makes you a strong person (much less a good lover, or a compassionate individual). Remember that real strength, the kind worth having, comes from high ethics. A truly strong person is more concerned for the common good than for self-interest and self-protection. And the greatest power for good results from surrender to the higher power of God through self-discipline relative to egoic tendencies.

Stop the madness! Promote gladness! Return to the heart! Think sane thoughts! Do good works! Keep good company! Real strength grows slowly but surely, like a sturdy oak.

Please tell a friend.

Tags: Empowerment, Personal Power, Relationships, Love, Growth, Assertiveness

Trust and Spiritual Growth

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 01:11:36 GMT

MUCH more than a terrible risk, trust also happens to be ESSENTIAL for every goal the soul could have -- INCLUDING spiritual growth.

Spiritual growth is built of "leaps of faith." But in a climate of distrust, people are too fearful to be spiritually adventurous. They have so little trust and faith in themselves, others, God, and the Universe Process that they simply will NOT take the kind of leaps necessary for their higher dreams to be fulfilled. They are too distrustful of their own judgment to believe they could live on the basis of their own intuition.

Spiritual enlightenment is a team sport; it takes a spiritual village to raise a spiritual child. Therefore, if distrust is hard on human relationships, it's even harder on spiritual growth. Modern trends toward distrust have not only caused a substantial breakdown of the true comfort and trusting spirit of human association, they've also caused the breakdown of the collaborative effort that spiritual evolution has almost always been in the past.

Community becoming extinct

Human cooperative community -- in virtually every form -- was an early casualty of the modern crisis of trust. Secular cooperative communities -- intentional families of like-minded souls, communes and the like -- are practically extinct, remnants of a HIGHER bygone age -- like Atlantis. Similarly, though a few spiritual communities can still be found, monasteries and ashrams were much larger and more prevalent in the past. Spiritual communities of all kinds will be even smaller and scarcer tomorrow.

There ARE still a few good people and places worthy of finding, and worthy of commitment. But that doesn't matter too much if people are too scared to jump.

Viable candidates for spiritual community are also a vanishing breed, because only a person who can trust has sufficient faith -- in self, others, and God -- to make substantial changes in life, and to jump at new opportunities such as joining a spiritual community. As we said, people today are increasingly distrusting even of their own intuitive knowingness, and therefore, MUCH less inclined to make ANY kind of leap. Add to that the fact that there are fewer and fewer spiritual havens to make a leap TO. Then factor in the consideration of how good those places may or may not be, how worthy of trust, how stable and viable they may be, etc. No wonder we see a lot of people LOOKING, but few FINDING.

Refusing the answers to our prayers

Will a person who is, in fact, Divinely led somewhere actually follow through? Not when you have brain over God, fear over intuition. In that case, people will throw away whatever they are guided to, and continue to do their lonely little thing. Stay at home. Lick their wounds. Watch TV, and count their cash. Take out some insurance.

Thanks to distrust, they miss another chance to be freed of the shackles of their own misunderstandings and led into the love light by the merciful and providential system of their own inner guidance. And that, for the time being at least, is the end of the line, because their own inner voice is completely drowned out by their fearful, habitual mind stuff.

"Learning" what NOT to do

People who have made a great leap in the past often say that that choice was a big mistake. Quite possibly, they are giving themselves far too little credit for the outcome when they say the leap itself was wrong! They may have been right in making the leap, but then ruined that opportunity themselves with runaway fear and irrational blame. They may never have trusted their chosen situation enough to find out what it really was. Or perhaps they simply exhausted the educational opportunity that it provided; perhaps it was simply time to graduate to a new venue.

People don't have to say that a decision which had SOME merit was ALL bad. And even in the rare case that it WAS all bad, the only thing they've lost is a little time. They still have their freedom of action and freedom of choice remaining. But sadly, we live in an age of wimps who doubt they can recover from anything that goofs up in ANY way, for ANY reason. People aren't bold enough to consider that they can change their mind, they can outgrow a DECENT choice, they can learn a HELPFUL lesson. People aren't discerning enough to see that something can be good in some ways and not good in others.

When we live by fear, our insurance has to have insurance; we need redundant protection on anything. When we live in fear, about all we seem to learn from anything is what NOT to do in the future. Every time we do something, we nail down another negative lesson about what to avoid next time. By that method, we become further and further painted into our own corner, gradually ruling out virtually every decent option for our life. There's no real positive advancement in that; it's a downward spiral.

By these means, people are reduced to relatively meaningless decisions: "What apartment should I rent; what job should I take; what car should I buy; what movies should I watch?" Meanwhile, they avoid, as much as possible, the kinds of real decisions that could change their lives: "How can I incorporate the values of spiritual community into my life? Whom should I marry? From whom can I learn spiritual truths?" THOSE decisions have the fire, the potential, and the force to make a REALLY profound, worthwhile, and positive difference in the person's life. But it's THOSE decisions the usual person today doesn't feel willing to make, empowered to make, or capable of making. In this age of brute paranoia, most people are now thoroughly convinced that ALL such meaningful decisions are profoundly unwise, unsafe, dangerous, foolish.

Now you begin to see what a profound effect the erosion of faith and trust has on virtually all the choices that can make real spiritual/emotional difference in people's lives. Distrust seriously hurts everyone -- even those who do not aspire to intimate human relationships, having focused all their aspirations on spiritual growth. The crisis of distrust handicaps the spiritual evolution of humanity as a whole, and hampers individual prospects for achieving true and lasting spiritual gains. It must be solved. DO IT!

[For more information about solving the problem of distrust, see

"In Distrust We Trust?"]

Tags: Trust, spiritual growth, God, enlightenment

Five Requirements for Keeping a Relationship Growing Strong

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 01:15:38 GMT

Everyone is familiar with the dangers of "growing apart." Two people who were once inseparable gradually lose their affinity. Their desires differ, even their values may be at odds. They no longer see eye-to-eye. Sadly, even when they continue to be fond of each other, their ability to share closely and to understand each other deeply is gone.

The only sure prevention for growing apart is GROWING TOGETHER. To successfully grow together, there are five pairs of qualities we need to combine. We must be

1.    Invested AND Loving

2.    Towards AND Sensitive

3.    Open/Appreciative AND Adaptive to Feedback

4.    Aware AND Patient

5.    Self-Supportive AND Supportive of the Other

Oftentimes, one of the qualities in each pair is emphasized over the other; sometimes, the two qualities even appear to conflict. But to insure that the relationship will thrive, both must be maintained in balance. You'll understand why when we look at the pairs in detail.

1. Invested AND Loving

Why WOULDN'T being invested and loving always go together? To be invested is to care, and caring and loving certainly belong together. Love relationships depend on:

1. Caring a great deal in the first place (because starting a relationship otherwise would be tragic), and

2. Continuing to care from then on (because ceasing to care at any point excessively erodes the quality of intimacy).

Continued caring -- that is, continued personal investment -- is essential to the health of intimacies of all kinds. Continued caring is required for constancy, and reasonable constancy is a MUST for relationship harmony.

Yet constancy in caring is not a foregone conclusion in relationships. Why not? When we see caring as a personal investment, one that contains an element of self-interest, suddenly it is clear that caring and loving CAN become, for all intents and purposes, OPPOSITES. Certainly, love is the opposite of self-interest.

Our constancy is tested anytime our desires are frustrated in our relationships (we are not getting our way or getting what we want in some matter). For example, what happens when we care about someone but the way they feel about us is NOT how we would want them to feel? At such times, we are tempted to give up. We justify giving up by telling ourselves, "I have too much on it to handle it well." "I need to not care, or to care LESS, because I care too much." So we strategically reduce caring to reduce the resentment, anger, and pain of being disappointed. But then we tend to become UNtowards, and UNloving, which will downgrade the quality of the relationship.

Obviously, reducing our caring is a self-protective decision we make because we don't WANT to suffer that situation. So when people ask, "How CAN I care about something when I'm not getting what I want?," the answer might be, "You may feel that you can't care about something when you're not getting what you want, but quite possibly, you are ABLE to care, but you are just not WILLING."

There's no avoiding this conclusion: for relationship success, the starting point called CARING must be joined with the willingness to CONTINUE caring -- EVEN WHEN we do not get our way. And, for intimacy to work, CARING -- in the sense of being invested and involved -- MUST be held as compatible with LOVING, or staying towards -- not mutually exclusive.

In relationship, one simply MUST be willing to "have a lot on it" AND continue to care. The secret of success with this surprisingly challenging pair of qualities is to learn that a strong investment does not have to be selfishly, egotistically held. And this returns us to the real crux of the matter: we must care AND love. So the solution that supports relationship success goes like this:

1.    Care a lot -- have a high INVESTMENT -- but hold your investment GRACEFULLY rather than EGOTISTICALLY.

2.    Bear gracefully the occasional disappointments and frustrations that are experienced in ALL relationships.

3.    Continue to CARE.

4.    Continue to LOVE.

2. Towards AND Sensitive

Clearly, the reality of caring relates to the disposition of towardsness. In order to be nurturing to others, you must be energetically TOWARDS in relation to them. People can have healthy love relationships ONLY with those they energetically feed. Successful relationship partners consistently nurture one another.

When people think of continuing to care or continuing to be towards, even in the face of obstacles, the first approach is to keep trying -- insensitively. The feeling is, "I care about this, so I am going to keep trying to make this happen no matter what you think." We shut our eyes and run at the wall. Ouch!

To push ahead insensitively is the FIVE CENT solution to the problem. But obviously, that thrifty solution can't work, because insensitive persistence is off-putting. The REAL solution is deeper, and more sophisticated.

Since towardsness without sensitivity is divisive, relationship continuity depends on developing the skill of being SENSITIVE at the same time as being TOWARDS. An essential aspect of this winning towards-plus-sensitive combination is the ability to REMAIN towards even when sensitivity dictates that it is not the right time to directly and mutually share energy. A person who does not remain towards at such times is sure to remain untowards MOST of the time -- which, needless to say, will not work.

Sensitivity helps us feel what is needed, and motivates us to find a way to provide that. When the context demands it, we must exercise the ability to stay energetically connected with our beloved during periods of physical separation. We must give our partner space, without diminishing our psychic support and heartfelt caring. In this way, we gradually discover that we can be towards under ALL conditions

3. Open/Appreciative AND Adaptive to Feedback

A good relationship is alive, not static -- it is a PROCESS OF GROWTH, not a THING. In relationship, we either grow, or else we kill the relationship.

In order to grow, we MUST be open to feedback. And if we are REALLY open to feedback, then we go even farther than TOLERATING feedback; we actually APPRECIATE feedback. The reality of the situation is, we MUST appreciate feedback, and express that appreciation, because otherwise, people are liable to stop giving feedback to us. And if they stop giving feedback to us, then our relationship is in SERIOUS trouble.

However, there is NO USE giving and receiving feedback if it produces no change. The necessary next step is to ADJUST based on the feedback which is received. A person who wishes to succeed in relationship MUST ADJUST.

Since relationship is a dynamic adventure, success in that adventure absolutely requires flexibility and adaptation. Growing together happens when people give each other feedback, AND make the appropriate adjustments.

4. Aware AND Patient

No one is perfect. Therefore, knowing how to rightly hold the shortcomings of our intimates is a perennial requirement of right relationship. The ideal balance in this regard is to be aware of their flaws, and also at the same time, to be patient. Let's break this pair of qualities down and look at the contribution of each.

First, love requires us to be aware of flaws. "Wait a minute!" you may think. "People who are truly loving will not let ordinary human imperfections turn them away from their commitment to the people they love. So, to consciously overlook faults is only just, compassionate, and wise." That is true, but on the other hand, think again: to overlook a serious problem is downright foolish. Denial has nothing whatsoever to do with love. Love is both compassionate AND conscious.

Second, love requires patience. In a world where, most of the time, change comes slower than one would like, one MUST be patient. Otherwise, impatience and intolerance will erode goodwill and towards orientation -- the very factors upon which relationship health depends. Likewise, only patience creates a context secure enough for our beloveds to feel safe in making a change.

Also, patience helps us to gracefully bear the frustration and sorrow we may feel from the human frailties and limitations of our loved ones. Without patience, awareness would be intolerable. Therefore, it is necessary to see and deal with the faults of others, and to do so PATIENTLY, over a long period of time, WITHOUT giving up. BOTH together are what relationship requires.

5. Self-Supportive AND Supportive of the Other

Many people think that they can "let themselves go" and still be able to serve their intimates. UNTRUE! Maintaining ONESELF in good shape is ESSENTIAL to maintaining any intimate relationship in good shape as a whole. Think about it: what happens to those who do NOT do what is necessary to keep themselves bright and strong AFTER entering into relationship? They become weak and dull, of course. And what kind of relationship is liable to happen between people who are weak and dull? A weak and dull relationship, of course!

To make good on the basic commitment of being nurturing -- that is, being towards our relationship partners energetically and emotionally -- there are several levels upon which we must be responsible. We must uphold a certain level of consciousness by maintaining positive thoughts, benign intentions, and constructive orientations. We must also engage in right activity to maintain reasonable vital strength. To neglect these responsibilities only reduces our ability to support our beloveds. To meet these responsibilities in order to better care for loved ones requires a commitment to self-culture. And, a LOVE-BASED commitment to self-culture protects us from the limitations of SELFISH motivations for self-work.

Conclusion

Every good quality needs a companion quality to keep it good. For love's sake, it pays to think of these qualities in pairs:

1.    Invested AND Loving

2.    Towards AND Sensitive

3.    Open/Appreciative AND Adaptive to Feedback

4.    Aware AND Patient

5.    Self-Supportive AND Supportive of the Other

The writer of this article, David Truman, is the founder of the Living Love Fellowship. If you want to read more of his writing, visit the Soul Progress website

Tags: relationship, love, spiritual balance, loving qualities, commitment, human sensitivity; human caring, intimacy, relationship advice

Arranging Priorities for Love

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 07:30:38 GMT

Think about any great experience: What made it great? Follow your feelings to their headwaters and you will agree: the most important thing about all significant events has something to do with love. Even if the experience itself is not social, the first thought is always, "With whom can I SHARE this?" In a moment of great personal victory, what stands out is not the victory itself, but its HUMAN RAMIFICATIONS -- measured in love units.

There is literally nothing in the world we can acquire or attain which is meaningful to the human spirit apart from its relevance to love -- be it cosmic or human. All else is empty and meaningless. We live, breathe, work, and play for love. And when we neglect to do what maximizes the potential for love in a given situation, we will likely lay awake that night with regret.

What takes precedence wins

Love succeeds only when love itself -- as a cosmic as well as a personal commitment -- has highest priority. Every human being has plenty of energy to manifest whatever is on top of the list, but all else is less certain. Therefore, whenever someone is dissatisfied with the quantity or quality of love in their life, it is almost certainly because they have placed at least one priority above love. The top priority might be a desire, a concern, an ambition, a persuasion. But it makes no difference what the senior priority is -- ANY higher priority can sap the dedication, energy, and commitment that the fulfillment of love requires.

Other priorities not only drain attention and energy away from love. They can also, at times, lead us to make choices that are NOT in love's best interests. For example, if security is our highest value; if feeling good is the star we steer by; if pleasing others is most important to us -- any of these may sometimes appear to conflict with what love requires of us. When those times come, if love is not our highest priority, love will be sacrificed to whatever is.

Granted, most of us have made what we CONSIDER to be a total commitment to finding or keeping a love relationship at some time in our lives. If it didn't work out, we were probably shocked. Oftentimes, the unsuspected cause of disappointment in love was a priority conflict so well hidden we may not have had any idea it was there.

How values get turned upside down

A great fitness enthusiast attracted a lot of women with his fit physique, but he was never able to make his romances last -- because women always seemed to get in the way of his exercise program!

The irony is that when we have a conflicting priority, we often feel that it is an absolute PREREQUISITE to love. And we may be right about that. A great deal of what we do in this world, we do for love -- at least initially. One person may seek to be physically fit, another may pay careful attention to their wardrobe, another may pursue financial security, still another may delve into therapy or read self-help books -- all to be more attractive; all in the name of love.

Sometimes you have to get the prerequisites handled before you can do the thing they are supposed to make possible. And yet, we must take care that our priorities don't get muddled in the process. The strategy backfires if we get more attached to the means to get love than we are to love ITSELF.

Sadly, many of the things through which people seek love -- the jogging, the beauty, the money, the self-understanding -- sometimes become more important than love itself; more important, even, than the people who actually love us, and whom we love. When that happens, love relationships usually fail, because love no longer holds a high enough place to survive.

Example: A man wanted to create a dream house for himself and his wife -- a love nest. However, he became obsessed with the house. Between working on the house and earning extra money to pay for the mortgage and the materials, the house took literally all his time for years. His wife told him, then begged him, to relax about it, but he would not. Consequently, their marriage fell apart as the house came together.

Second Fiddle Feelings

Human beings do not like to be second to anything. Whenever a human being is valued less than something else, that is felt as -- and in a very real sense is -- a form of rejection. And it's not just competing lovers we worry about. People feel rejected if any hobby, interest, or concern you may have takes precedence over them in your life. Human beings do not even like to be second fiddle to what you are doing for THEM -- nor should they be.

Oftentimes, we chalk that up to insecurity, and rightly so. Insecurity may be part of the reason our loved ones complain about needing more from us. People can also be self-centered and demanding. We can feel it when these impure motives are present. But even when they are, there is another part, a valid part: HUMAN VALUES.

At a deep level, there is something profoundly problematic about placing any human being below competing values. We natively understand that whatever is second is in real danger of being forgotten. Thus, the kind of intuition which says, "I am threatened by your preference for ________" is the height of realism. And what at first seems like paranoia may well be a righteous struggle for love's survival against tough odds.

Has it happened to you?

No matter how distressing a loved one's complaints may be, we have real reason to be grateful for them: love can slip from first place more easily than we realize. It could start with a simple matter of scheduling. When some other commitment -- even school or work -- gets a large slice of our time, as these things often demand, our affinities subtly shift. We become more and more immersed in the other commitment, and a little more out of touch with our love interests. Because human beings are naturally most comfortable with what is most familiar, we tend to give even more time to the competing priority and less time to love as a result. Soon we may even begin to feel slightly uncomfortable or out of place at home. Thereafter, our value on our alternatives suddenly sky rockets!

Of course, as we said earlier, not all complaints are valid. But does that mean we can afford to ignore them? We might be able to sense insecurity and selfishness between the lines, but even so, we should be careful not to be too quick to question the motivations of others. Better to wonder if our priorities need rearranging?

Here's a clue: It is much easier to know how we ourselves feel than to correctly judge the feelings of others. Do you feel defensive, irritated, or guilty about your handling of your intimacy, or about your other activities, or about the complaints of your intimate? If so, those defensive feelings suggest that your heart may be sending its own message of disapproval. Listen well!

Mind-heart conflict must be resolved

Understanding and resolving priority conflicts of mind and heart can go a long way towards insuring the heart's fulfillment. Such conflict has raged within ourselves, perhaps even DAILY, whenever we have not done and said what we should have -- whenever our heart recommended one thing and our mind recommended another! The back and forth; the inner struggle involved in not letting the heart rule; the unfeeling existence dictated by the heartless priorities -- all this the mind accepts, but the heart never can. The issue must not go unresolved if we indeed wish to find fulfillment because, surely, there is little fulfillment in dilemma and self-conflict.

The problem is best expressed as, "No man can serve two masters." It all comes down to a matter of allegiance -- allegiance to the mind or to the heart. We can control our destiny with regard to love by choosing which leader to follow in our quest for happiness.

It is a wise and fortunate person who honestly observes how the priorities of the heart are swept under the rug by the mind. Our hearts argue for love at the top of our priorities. Ignoring the heart's only priority, the mind places its strange and unsatisfying priorities over love. To make this observation, to face it, to feel all its implications -- even though that vision may feel uncomfortable or disorienting -- constitutes a giant step towards love's fulfillment.

Mind under heart

When we SEE what we have chosen, we see the OTHER choice at the same time -- and we see what our choices MEAN. Ultimately, no choice but the choice of the heart truly prepares us for love, and helps us to succeed in loving, because all other choices really only postpone the decision for the heart -- and thereby delay love's fulfillment another day.

No more waiting, no more hesitating! Clearly, the mind CAN exist in service to the heart -- and it SHOULD. Indeed, the mind IS a servant of the loving heart. From the very beginning, the moment of choosing to love, choosing the heart as the higher priority over the mind, is an act of the mind -- but it is an act of servitude. Mind under Heart. Heart over mind.

Love is our choice

The truth is, the only decision which can possibly be a permanent decision is the decision for true love. Thus, all choices which are not choices for true love are temporary and destined to be revised in the light of truth. That is why a man who has chosen career for his first love is destined to regret his choice. And likewise, a woman who has chosen a loveless relationship with a man is destined to continue searching, at least in her mind.

Every priority that opposes or supersedes love will someday be abandoned. Such is the way of the heart, and the way of the heart is the ultimate destiny of all -- because nothing less will do. You are spirit, you are not (lower) mind. You simply cannot get behind anything other than an absolute decision to make love the ultimate priority in all your choices. Since no lesser decision can satisfy you, no lesser decision can stand.

Finally, make no mistake: a choice for true love is but a choice to love truly.

The writer of this article, David Truman, is the founder of the Living Love Fellowship. If you want to read more of his writing, visit the Soul Progress website

Tags: love, relationship, priorities, togetherness, friendship, romance, viable intimacy

Live and love FOR REAL

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 13:31:08 GMT

From: Give Up the Smiley-Face Life! You Can Do SO MUCH BETTER!

“What is all the faddish ecstasy, and pseudo-enlightened talk? Who is everybody kidding? Instead of endless shallow smiley faces, I’d rather see tears — sincere tears. Better a real tear than a fake smile, don’t you agree? You’d think you died and went to real heaven, where the angels weep. So let’s give up the smiley-face life. We can do so much better with true heart.

Enlightenment weekends and over-hyped trainings can hardly begin to fix what ails us, or fill that hollow leg. We need reality, not paid-for services. We need heart and soul service, not lip service. We need commitment. The popular “heal thyself” concept, too, is vain. LOVE, we need. True love.”

To read the rest of this, click here

Tags: Divine love, affirmation, angels, authenticity, belonging, change, choices, coaching, commitment, compensation

How we can be surrounded by love and beauty.

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 07:54:11 GMT

Read this article, about how to bring out the best in people, and live and be in such as way as to be surrounded by love. Click here to see it.

Love,

Your Friends at the LLF

Tags: love, humanity, relationship, heart, living, beauty, happiness, emotion, delicacy, sensitivity

CHOICE AND CHANGE

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Mon, 28 May 2007 22:31:29 GMT

Who is Choosing

In every culture, and in every age, people have
prayed for change, and those prayers have been
answered.

HOW THE UNIVERSE ANSWERS THE PRAYER
FOR CHANGE

Prayers for change are answered when the winds
of change in your life pick up speed and force, and
you enter a state of flux. In that state of flux, you
have choices to make, because everything seems
to be up for grabs. Things that were once taken for
granted are called into question. New possibilities
arise; old possibilities shake. The sand shifts under
your feet.

But real change is a change not in the state of ex-
ternal affairs, anyway. Real change is a change of
CHOICE in relation to the external world, in relation
to the presented options. Changes in CHOICE re-
sult in changes in life; this is the only way change
occurs. For example, a person loses weight if,
when confronting the fork in the road called a piece
of pie, they don't eat it. A person gains weight if,
at that same fork in the road, they take the oppor-
tunity to have two pieces of pie when normally they
only have one. This is how changes of choice, when
confronting familiar options, result in changes of
body weight.

As a result of your prayer for change, the number
of options may be increased, the variety of options
may be multiplied, and new options may appear more
quickly; but you will experience change ONLY if you
make a different kind of choice when confronting the
options that the wind of flux brings into your life.

We've all seen it happen: The winds of change can
bring many possibilities to your doorstep, but that
does not guarantee that the choices you make
among them are new and fresh choices. You could
be presented with a vast array of new options,
and you could still make the same old choices.

So, when a person prays for change, what they
are really praying for is a chance to re-do a
choice and choose DIFFERENTLY this time.
That means, they are praying that they them-
selves will make a different choice; that's really
what the prayer is for.

WHO IS CHOOSING?

top
Change is choice -- it's up to you. WHAT do you
want? WHY do you want it? And, OUT OF what
you want, what will you CHOOSE? The answer is
in the mirror of your choice of self-identification:
WHO am I?

Beloved friends, consider your rightful, deserving
relationship to beauty in all your choosings. When
you pray for something higher, when you yearn for
improvement, the universe might give you some-
thing "too beautiful to choose." What that means is,
your habits of ego-identification will not PERMIT you
to choose it. For example, you think, "I'm not wor-
thy," "It will never work," "People can't be trusted,"
etc. What those statements amount to, for all
practical purposes, is a "no" to beauty -- a "no"
to "outrageous" positive change.

Who do you think you ARE? That determines
a great deal. If you identify with the ego, you
will not choose beauty. This is an issue of "inte-
grity." The ego tells you, "Who I am is not beau-
tiful and that is WHY I cannot choose beautiful."

Recognize the simple fact that the more beauti-
ful the choice on the buffet, the more ego-mind
will recommend you reject it. And, the ego ob-
jects to the more beautiful REASONS for choos-
ing, yes? Such as, choosing for real love, for
ego-transcendence, for God, for others. There-
fore, if we listen to the ego, we do not feel ready,
willing, able, worthy to choose the higher things
for which we prayed on bended knee. "Many are
called but few CHOOSE."

Know that that feeling of unworthiness is a trick;
KNOW that you have the right to choose some-
thing beautiful, because you ARE beautiful.

Think, oh bright and shining ones: Who are you?
Everything unfolds from that. Remember who God
made you to be; know who you truly are; then be
true.

The writer of this article, David Truman, is the founder of the Living Love Fellowship. If you want to read more of his writing, visit the Soul Progress website

Tags: free will, choices, change, prayer, worthiness, self-image, identification, desire, spirituality, growth

We are each other's saviors

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Wed, 23 May 2007 21:24:28 GMT

Imagine waking up on your honeymoon morning --
perhaps from a deep sleep, or even a bad dream --
to find the loving gaze of your true lover. You
certainly would be very happy to awaken into such
a beautiful reality, wouldn't you? In that case, your
partner is drawing you into a higher level of awaking
even as they lie there with you, gazing lovingly at
you. No words can describe the value of being seen
and loved in that way.

By loving, by appreciating the true Self of others,
you create for them the same happy heart-heaven
into which you awakened that honeymoon morning.
In exactly that manner in which you were drawn into
love by being seen in love, you draw others into love.
You draw them into a higher level of awakening by
the love you give.

We are all each other's saviors -- at least, we can
be. The title "savior" may sound grandiose, but in
fact, to the extent that we have rejected illusion in
ourselves, and to the extent that we have accepted
the responsibility to hold onto Reality, we become
saviors by virtue of those choices. Our mind is such.
Our radiance is such. Our certainty is such. Our
loving is such.

The right way to relate to our fellow human beings
is by giving love and true recognition. Take respon-
sibility to be generous with energy and light. That
giving is, in itself, our liberation from illusion, our
salvation AND our saviorhood, all rolled into one.
Advancement or elevation into "savior" status de-
pends ENTIRELY on that love-commitment, that
loving focus, that love-holding, that love-giving,
that love-living, that continuing to be the light.
The recognition -- the seeing of the Being. Only
true and appreciative seeing reminds both the
seer and the seen of who they are.

So you see, it is not that you become a savior by
withdrawing from the world entirely, by going to a
cave in isolation for long periods of time. In reality,
quite the opposite is the case. You become a savior
just as much by the way that you hold your con-
sciousness during the course of your ordinary living
as you do by the way that you hold it in prayerful
seclusion.

The awesome work of avatars, bodhisattvas, saints,
sages, parents, lovers, and friends throughout time
has always been this: to resonate the truth for
those who otherwise would not strongly feel it;
to offer Reality-awareness in the face of delusional
consciousness; to remain hot in the chill. This is
what avatarhood, bodhisattvahood, sainthood,
motherhood, fatherhood and friendship are ALL
about. Until all sentient beings have been liberated,
until then there will be avatars, bodhisattvas, saints,
moms, dads, and there will be friends. GOOD friends
are those who hold that candle for us.

However, all too often, what happens is that would-
be bringers of higher consciousness allow them-
selves to deviate from the higher conviction that is
so helpful and necessary. For example: Imagine you
have a friend who really thinks they are an absolute
loser, doomed -- and you try to convince them
otherwise. Really, the effectiveness of that conver-
sation depends, in part, upon your ability to main-
tain your own conviction on the matter. Sometimes,
you'll labor along for an hour or two trying to con-
vince your friend that they're okay, but then there
comes a point where you begin to believe their
bleak story. Some of your zeal, your optimism, be-
gins to deflate. You feel discouraged. You begin to
think that perhaps they ARE a loser. Oh, dear! The
teacher has been taught, but the student has not.

Obviously, blowing hot and cold is not very helpful.
If one is to be a good influence, one must remain
so. The way that saviors stay warm within a chilled
and chilling reality -- a reality that is always tending
to share its delusion with you and thereby chill your
own vibration -- is through not buying into the chill,
but remembering and seeing the other IN SPITE OF
IT. That's the challenge of motherhood, fatherhood,
avatarhood, bodhisattvahood. It's the challenge of
friendship -- at least, of GOOD friendship.

All progress lies in the combination of the rejection
of illusion and the acceptance of Reality. That is how
one enhances one's effectiveness as a salvatory
influence in the sphere of relationship. That is our
essential responsibility as parents, lovers, and friends.
And the discharge of that responsibility depends on
our will -- our will to do so, to be so, to live and love
so.

The writer of this article, David Truman, is the founder of the Living Love Fellowship. If you want to read more of his writing, visit the Soul Progress website.

Tags: humanity, divine, life, living, self-improvement, sensitivity, peace, help, patience, love

Constructive Impatience

http://livinglovefellowship.gaia.com — Wed, 23 May 2007 21:20:38 GMT

We all experience many frustrations in trying to love and
help our wayward friends and companions. One of the most
frustrating things about helping others is, it takes so much
time, and so much love, and so much seeing them as they
truly are -- and they STILL have to choose it. Until they
choose -- firmly and consistently -- to see themselves as
they truly are, we don't see the improvements we want.

This frustration is shared even by God. But God does not
say, "I'm frustrated;" God says, "I'm impatient!" This cosmic
impatience is a direct result of the fact that, as long as they
persist, people's confusions and delusions are actually creat-
ing suffering on an ongoing basis. Therefore, if anyone were
even a little empathetic, they would be impatient to end the
suffering of their children, their friends, and all those they love.

Two kinds of impatience

But the problem is, human beings have a destructive tendency
to turn impatience to their disadvantage, as an expression of
egotism. And therefore, if we were to compare Divine impatience
to human impatience, we would find that, oftentimes, the impa-
tience of human beings takes on a much darker color. In that
darker color, impatience actually obstructs the liberation that
it is purportedly "about." For example, we may feel, "I want lib-
eration so bad, and I am so angry about my limitations, I can't
even get near my goal." A bad mood is just not open enough,
you see?

Through self-destructive impatience, people get SO into delaying
their own liberation. We push it SO far away by the very means
by which we try to achieve it. That's why, dear friends, we must
constantly remember that there are two kinds of impatience:
There's a kind of impatience or frustration that is of spirit, and
a kind that is of ego. The one helps; the other hinders.

Therefore, although it is understandable that we are impatient,
we must also be, insofar as possible, helpful and constructive.
We must remain ever mindful of the kind of orientation that is
required for maximal effectiveness for our purpose of relieving
our beloveds from their suffering. So we need to discern be-
tween that impatience which is constructive, and that which is
not; that impatience which expedites, and that which actually
slows; that impatience which shortens evolutionary time, and
that which lengthens it.

If we really wish to help, we MUST tune to God-ness, and not
merely dwell on problem-ness, half-empty-ness. For the more
we recognize the God in others, the more profoundly those
we're trying to love will respond according to that recognition.
And as you can see, that considerably eases our whole process
of blessing, of interacting, and loving.

How long must we be patient?

The question we all have -- and this is the matter to which impa-
tience addresses itself -- is, "How long?" How long will it take be-
fore patience itself is rendered obsolete? Because truly, if and
when your recognition of others combines with their recognition
of themselves in such a way as to actually elevate them to true
I AM consciousness or higher self-identification, then they will no
longer seem to require your patience, but rather, will become a
source of enjoyment.

How long that takes depends, in part, on the extent to which you
can resonate in others that higher consciousness and recognition.
To the extent that your conviction about them is positive and
stable and strong, then the time you need to remain patient is
reduced. But to the extent that your recognition of their Divine
nature is unstable, or their recognition of their Divine nature is
unstable, to that extent it takes much longer for them to get out
of their patterns of suffering and delusion. And you will be forced
to be patient for a much longer time.

Better than hope

Also, we need to recognize that there is something better than
hope that we can bring to life: KNOWING. Thus, instead of hoping
our loved ones will turn around, it is better to KNOW that they will.

The word HOPEFUL, in the sense to which many people relate, is
actually a conviction of not is-ness. In that sense, it is only a little
better than despair. We tend to say, "This person is really messed
up. And most likely, they will remain messed up for a long time.
But I HOPE they won't."

Instead, if you see your friend or your child messing up, say to
yourself, "I know this person will see the light." Maintain faith con-
fidence in true knowing. It is true, actually, that no matter how big
a ne'er-do-well a person seems to be, or is; no matter how stub-
born they are, they WILL in fact see the light and be free -- eventually.
That knowing is helpful, even when liberation does not seem to be
near. It helps them now. And, it will be helpful tomorrow, tomorrow,
and tomorrow, as long as you hold such a view.

So, continue to tune your impatience for its constructive colors.
Enjoy and employ the value of that which could be called healthy
impatience.

The writer of this article, David Truman, is the founder of the Living Love Fellowship. If you want to read more of his writing, visit the Soul Progress website.

Tags: humanity, divine, challenges, living, self-improvement, sensitivity, help, patience, relationship, love